Peer Review #1

 

Reviewer Name: Sonia Aguiar
Name of Author Under Review: Hailey B.
Title of Work Reviewed: Major Assignment #1, Draft #1
Date: Sep. 29, 2020

1..In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment. And please use the checklist as reference.

A: I read my colleague’s work in its entirety. She was asked to give an understanding of what makes for good writing considering the three concepts we have been studying – purpose, audience, and genre; and to analyze them, highlighting their importance and role based on the written pieces and commencement speeches that were provided during class. Furthermore, she was asked to (using these concepts) begin to develop a theory of writing.

2. To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there, referring to the assignment checklist.

A: Hailey’s work shows she does not fully grasp the process of writing, having a poor understanding of genre and purpose. She keeps repeating the same thing in different words.
She did a good job quoting Donovan Livingston, Commencement Address.
‘’ In a quote “ I belong amongst the stars and so do you” (livingston 2016) he is saying that “The sky is not the limit, it is just the beginning.” (livingston 2016)’’
A passage that drew me in:
I honestly struggled in finding a passage that draws me in, for the text was quite boring.

3. What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration, and describe what isn’t working, referring to the assignment checklist.

A: I don’t think the college fully grasps the process of writing, having poor understanding of genre and purpose, besides, I also think the colleague disregarded the conclusion aspect, summarizing aspects.
‘’By creating a genre, knowing your audience, and purposeful writing, one can create an amazing piece of work. This is important for all writing in all stages for life. In the sources I have mentioned in my essay, purpose audience and genre work together to become persuasive pieces. Although they are different in style, they are still composed of the same elements.

4. Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.

Question 1: Could she dig deeper into the aspects that determine good writing?

Question 2: WHY does IT not have a conclusion?

1 way to improve: I would urge my colleague to rethink her writing in future essays. Observe grammar mistakes, transitions, and especially repetitions. The paper lacked enthusiasm as the reading became very boring to me. Perhaps, next time, use stronger sources as those fell short as well.